What is it like to be a Patriots fan?


I genuinely think about this quite often.

What must it feel like to have the greatest quarterback-head coach combination of all time on your team? What is it like to know that no matter how poorly a game is going, your team will find a way to come back and claim victory? How does it feel to know that even when your team suffers an unexpected loss, they will bounce back the following week like nothing ever happened?

If you are a Patriots fan, you must feel like a God amongst us mere mortals; we who foolishly chose to pledge our allegiance to franchises that simply look to eek out a .500 record or that consider reaching the playoffs a significant feat. I imagine that explaining to Patriots fans that a playoff berth is regarded as a huge success in some NFL cities is like explaining the theory of relativity to a five year-old; they simply cannot grasp the concept.


Can Patriots fans even fully appreciate this unrelenting onslaught of successful seasons? You have been over-indulged and over-fed with success to the point that you are now just reflexively vomiting out Lombardi trophies. Maybe a part of you, a small piece inside of you that you aren’t even aware of, wants to feel human for a moment and experience the pain that fans of the other 31 NFL teams experience to varying degrees, just to remind you that you’re still alive and that there is more to life than simply floating in a blissful utopian state for all of eternity.

No gut-wrenching losses in the final seconds of games. No poor coaching or lack of in-game adjustments. No head-scratching officiating decisions that go against your team. Just pure, unrivalled greatness with no end in sight. Amazing.

Oh Patriots fans, I hate you so much yet (clearly) cannot help but envy your success. How about sharing it a little with the rest of the league? Please?


A bitter Bengals fan.

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